something about this just makes me feel old.



it happens a lot here


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the last time i saw catherine the day resolved itself into the two of us standing behind a wall near the water watching the birds of a polluted beach searching for their food and discussing whether the red-beaked ones were the avian equivalent of bolshevik plotters, but earlier in the day when i was waiting for her downtown it looked like rain even though there wouldn't be any. maybe that's my favourite weather sometimes: overcast, windy, in constant expectation of rain-- maybe that's how we live our lives after the awareness of sorrow visits us: in constant expectation of rain.

haven't been able to think this week: getting used to work and there's the heat and missing laura. i've been trying to write a letter for days and failing every time. a couple of hours ago i woke up from an afternoon nap with a phrase on my lips as i do at times, the kind of thing you want to write down right away-- it didn't make sense when i read it back to myself.

it's almost july, so that's something.


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