something about this just makes me feel old.
monday was hot and windy, what we'll all hope was the last breath of summer. i sat under a tree with pink lemonade reading dostoyevsky. tuesday, fall-like; you could almost see the leaves just almost beginning to change. walking to school today the thought i tell myself i'll stop having every year popped up-- what spring will be like. it's going to be a long winter if i'm already thinking about the leaves coming back when they haven't even left yet.
that's how every winter is, though, and in the changing of the seasons i'll find yet another thing i can't unmoor myself from. i'll drive through salem and find the familiarity comforting while somewhere in the back of my mind a certain rage rages on that i'm not somewhere else. that conflict isn't going away anytime soon.
here's premature winter for you: this afternoon in a nearly empty parking lot with the lightly attended roar of fall sports in the background. it's easier in the colder months to imagine someone at a distance thinking about you just as you're thinking of them. why is that? there's more time to think because there's less to do, there's more desire to be close because it's colder, there's more need for others because it's lonely. so in a moment like that, when there's nothing to do but cross pavement and there's almost a slight chill in the air, a light trance can take hold and almost convince you just as you were convinced last december that any day now they'll all walk right back into your life, wondering what on earth stopped them from doing it sooner.
that's how every winter is, though, and in the changing of the seasons i'll find yet another thing i can't unmoor myself from. i'll drive through salem and find the familiarity comforting while somewhere in the back of my mind a certain rage rages on that i'm not somewhere else. that conflict isn't going away anytime soon.
here's premature winter for you: this afternoon in a nearly empty parking lot with the lightly attended roar of fall sports in the background. it's easier in the colder months to imagine someone at a distance thinking about you just as you're thinking of them. why is that? there's more time to think because there's less to do, there's more desire to be close because it's colder, there's more need for others because it's lonely. so in a moment like that, when there's nothing to do but cross pavement and there's almost a slight chill in the air, a light trance can take hold and almost convince you just as you were convinced last december that any day now they'll all walk right back into your life, wondering what on earth stopped them from doing it sooner.
previous posts
- good news for people who love bad news
- living with the devil
- god save the village green
- books i've read: summer 2008
- you get route 2 between concord and lexington
- we have conversations
- what is religion and of what does its essence cons...
- old path white clouds
- i'd like to see you when all of these angry days b...
- my heart's outstanding bills
archives
- April 2006
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- January 2009
- February 2009
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- April 2010
also me
- city lines magazine
- twitter (annus_mirabilis)
- ashley (almost a love song)
- kayleigh (i [verb] you)
- nicole (raise your hopeful voice)
- alli (what an odd-sized explosion.)
- haven kimmel's blog
- sara benincasa
- wonkette
- i blame the patriarchy
- who is ioz?
- a softer world
- toothpaste for dinner
- natalie dee
- married to the sea
- dinosaur comics
- xkcd
- terror island
- the perry bible fellowship
- cat and girl
- björk
- the decemberists
- the weakerthans
- sigur rós
- stephin merritt
- norfolk & western
- the essex green
- of montreal
- elephant 6
- arts&crafts
- laura veirs
- mary timony
- cbc
- alt weeklies
- al jazeera english
- george galloway
- marxists internet archive
- world socialist web site
- the pinky show
- quotidiana
- exit mundi
- the millennial abyss
- the revealer
- killing the buddha
- the brick testament
- colbert nation
- mcsweeney's internet tendency
- the brazen head
- iq infinity: the unknown james joyce
- ulysses by james joyce
- the leonard cohen files
- only revolutions
- luminarium
- geoffrey chaucer hath a blog
- haven kimmel
- purity of heart
- banana yoshimoto
- jeanette winterson
blogs
webcomics
music
news and political
curiosity, entertainery, and literary
about
-
me: aspiring writer, 'music nerd,' seeker of beautiful moments, college student, armchair theologian, nominal quaker, 'the diet coke of emo with no caffeine,' eclectic left-winger, and generally someone who thinks about things too much.
this: unedited, uninhibited, and uninteresting thoughts, nebulous stream-of-consciousness ramblings of memory, inside jokes, obscure references, emotional paroxysms, and slices of life. sometimes there are pictures.
what people are saying about me
'...something entirely different from anybody i've ever known.'
- krystin
'...a nice boy.'
- laura
'...a maoist!'
- greg
'...elevate[s] emotional self-destructiveness to an art form.'
- greg
'...my favorite pixie.'
- lizzie
'...a damn good conversationalist.'
- kelly
'...blue-raspberry [pie]! or or maybe cranberry raisin.'
- becky
'i feel like a wide eyed kid in the socialist candy store...and [he's] the clerk.'
- christine
'...far too sensible and perceptive to be straight.'
- catherine
'...not british.'
- catherine
'...would have made a good medieval monk. one of the non-crooked ones.'
- catherine
'...should have been born a dolphin.'
- elizabeth
ATOM 0.3
'life was just a series of things i'd read about coming true.'
-- michelle tea, the chelsea whistle
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