the last day of classes hovers in its last few insignificant hours. i feel like i should say something.

a lot of people have already left. i got to see the exodus out my window, more substantial than the typical friday host, the arms of the students and their parents full of items that don't usually get taken home just for a weekend. out the window i'm sure i saw some missed opportunities, people i'd like to have known better, people i may never see again. you can't know everyone. i don't think i'd want to. but we all have people we wish we were closer to, even if the characteristics we perceive in them have little or no basis in reality.

some people are so much more attractive as concepts, as collections of characteristics and personal quirks observed from afar. some people were much more attractive before we knew them, and perhaps they become attractive again after circumstances force us to know them no longer. some people we'd like to know but are never given the opportunity. missed opportunities. they were leaving today, or they left a long time ago. depends on how literal we're being. some of them were never really there.

some of them really were concepts, some of them simply filled in the roles already carved out for the people we knew before. i frequently make the observation that everyone i meet seems similar in some way or another to someone i already know or knew, and therefore i conclude jokingly that there are only so many molds of people and i've somehow managed to meet them all. not so.

not so at all. it has a lot more to do with using new people to fill in those spaces we carved out in our thoughts for acquaintances, the people who we only know partially. we carved out those spaces with the notion that their original occupants would be around forever, but that was never to be. but they didn't quite fit, and it never really mattered. hey, we barely talked to them anyway. it's all okay. they won't miss us. how could they? and with a little effort we won't miss them.

so, despite the trivial matter of two more finals to go in the space of ten days, that's it for freshman year. i guess there isn't really much to say. nothing that makes sense, anyway.