i was on the phone with lizzie earlier and she mentioned that richard jeni had killed himself yesterday, and after quoting some of my favourite lines of his in one of those moments of i know who that is over the phone, my thoughts drifted back to that night a couple of years ago when i was supposed to go to boston.

either kaleigh or kate had randomly called me up and asked if i wanted to go, we had no idea where but the three of us were going to make a night of it, or so we thought. i don't remember if this is the night kaleigh called me from the adult video store to tell me how some movie with a title like "the fascist inquisition" had reminded her of me (oddly enough, because of my marxist leanings), but it would have been around the same time. i think it was spring and i think it was warm, and i remember waiting outside for a really long time on the deck, enjoying the night air and staring at my neighbour's upstairs window and thinking about how interesting it would be if a ghost were to pass by, then thinking about writing a story about that window.

incidentally, i was just looking for a text file of the beginning of that story that i wrote. i didn't find it, but i did stumble across something else that i thought lost forever: a portion of the document i used to keep song ideas and fragments in. i read through the whole thing and that dredged up a few things i'll probably write about soon.

anyway, eventually they came (something interesting had delayed them, if i recall) in kate's car and we drove to kaleigh's in the dracut night to think about what we wanted to do, and we ended up just staying at her place for a while, watching tv and talking. i remember thinking about how much i'd missed nights at kaleigh's, like when we were a little younger watching saving private ryan and trying to stop the cat from climbing out the window, how we'd make a day of it without thinking at all and those two parallel couches would feel like a second home. at one point we were watching hbo and richard jeni was on, i remember that distinctly: probably the last time i watched a special of his.

i took a few separate short naps today while jolie holland's springtime can kill you played softly from the big speakers in my room. i'm not going to be living here much longer.