i barely slept last night due to a combination of my hopelessly wandering thoughts and a heat in the room that only seems to get more oppressive as the nights i will have to deal with it dwindle. i finally for the first time ever ended up sleeping with my head facing the other way because i couldn't take it being near the heater anymore. i had always been worried, and this is one of those paranoid anxiety delusions of mine, that sleeping like that would somehow cause me to miss hearing my alarm clock when it went off. it wasn't a problem. so much for that. thinking now, my nights could have been a lot more comfortable back during the dead of winter.

the morning hours, sunless, served as an occasional backdrop during the off periods of shivers and sparklethroughs of dreams, the type of dreams that have quick flashes of consciousness in between and form a sort of crazysurreal narrative. that's my new word. i've rarely felt more alone than in the moments after i finally managed to pull myself out of bed and let the strand of dreams go. i packed and stripped the walls with sad music and rain music, the designations of course mine, playing.

the museum today certainly was enjoyable, though a dull headache from lack of sleep continued following me all day, assuaged none by the inconsistencies and abject cruelties of the public transportation system. good food at uhop, though. i got back to salem just as patty was leaving dracut, giving me an hour or so to kill with everything packed. fortunately, nicole called. i needed that, but we couldn't talk for long, and there's so much to talk about.

transition, but on a staggered schedule. the drive back tonight, made longer than ever by highway closure, isn't the true homecoming, but it may as well be. my sunday/monday stayover for a final exam and final checkout is more of a distraction at this point than anything else. there's a long summer to focus on and many directions it could take. my head is swimming and i need so very much sleep.